We all know someone who is in shyness, and that person may even be you. Being shy can hold us back from reaching our goals or prevent us from enjoying certain situations. It is something that does not let us show ourselves as we are, so we must learn how to face it so that it stops being an obstacle.
For many people it is difficult to overcome. It is not an illness or disorder, but an emotional state. This state makes us feel ashamed or unsure of ourselves when we relate to others.
A shy person does not dislike being with other people or physical contact. In fact, he or she probably likes to be around people. What he or she fears is exposure and being the center of attention.
I’m sure if you’re shy, you want to put an end to this situation. For this reason, today we are going to explain to you how you can do it. But first, we’ll tell you exactly what it is to be shy.
What exactly is shyness?
We can say then that shyness is a feeling of insecurity or shame in yourself or in new social situations, which prevents you from relating normally.
There are three main characteristics that shy people have. The first of these is organicism. It is a genetic trait that causes abnormalities in the secretion glands (specifically the pituitary and adrenal glands).
The second is the behavioral one, with which we know that shyness is a learned behavior. It usually occurs in childhood; following the model of the parents, because of a lack of recognition or because we do not feel sufficiently valued. It can also appear after suffering some kind of emotional shock or loss.
The third characteristic is psychoanalysis, which points out that shyness is a conflict of the person with himself or with a part of himself. This fact is associated with the unconscious repression of one or several instincts.
A shy person who feels exposed thinks that he or she is doing something wrong or unseemly. They often think that they have been exposed and do not know how to react to defend themselves in this situation. It is also very common to feel that others have judged him or her and do not approve of his or her behavior. Being marked by this fact.
Now that we know what shyness is and what a shy person feels, let’s see how it can be overcome.
Steps to overcome it:
It’s estimated that 50% of people believe they are shy in one or more aspects of their personality. This indicates that it is a widespread problem. It is important to overcome it if it limits or prevents us from living life normally.
But do not be afraid, overcoming shyness is not an impossible task. We just have to propose it, be constant and take into account some steps that can help us.
Some of them are:
Identify what kind of shyness you have: there are two types of shyness, global and situational. The first one is when we are constantly shy, always and in all situations. The second is only when we are with certain people or in certain circumstances. It is important to identify the type to put into practice some techniques or others.
Know the triggers: to know what they are we must remember the moments when we have been most embarrassed. Determine what they have in common, what factors influenced us to feel this way and which people cause us a special effect.
Once we have determined what kind of shyness we have and know what the triggers are, we can put these techniques into practice to end it:
- Accepting that we are shy: it’s not a crime to be shy, it’s a characteristic of our personality. Accepting the problem is fundamental to solve it.
- Detect 10 situations that you fear: even if they are improbable or absurd. Try to write them down as specifically as possible. You can order them according to the fear you have of them happening in reality, in ascending order. When we have the list, we will have to face each situation separately. To do this, you must imagine situations that make you face your fear.
- Be alert: when you start to feel ashamed, stop for a minute. Write down what you think and the emotions you feel. Don’t go on until you understand what is happening to you.
- Don’t get discouraged: keep the right attitude that encourages you to keep going. You should value every step you take from here because it will reflect the effort you are making. Don’t compare yourself to anything or anyone and reward your positive characteristics. A good way to do this is to think about the positive things you bring to others.
If you put these tips into practice, you will surely be able to overcome shyness and situations that embarrass you. Keep in mind that shyness is not a bad thing. It is bad if it prevents us from moving forward, getting what we want, or if it gives us negative feelings.
If you are so shy that you cannot move forward, it is best to consult an expert. They will give us the guidelines to follow depending on our case. Nowadays there is a lot of knowledge and we have infinite means to overcome it.